Experience

Because of experience, we tend to know more than other people who have been through fewer changes in their lives than us. And this does not necessarily mean that it goes with age.

However, a very good example of this would be when I was very much still a teenager doing an apprenticeship off Old Klang road in this audit firm. I stayed in my grandfather's old 'abandoned' house during that period which was in the capital of Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur. After less than a month, my father would start talking about being in Kuala Lumpur back in his days. Much of what he was talking about did not make sense to me at all (why of course!).

In Malaysia, some of the road names have been changed throughout the times, with Batu Road becoming Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman. Being an ignorant teenager, how was I supposed to know this? I could almost feel the disappointment in my dad's voice as he tried to explain different areas around where he lived.

But this is a mistake we all seem to make. We speak about things expecting people to know.

How will people know if they have not experienced it themselves?

Further into that, each person goes through a unique process, so although the time and place may be the same, two different people may end up having differing reflections on that period.

To put into a simple scenario, imagine Jack and Jill walking up the hill. Jack is holding a bucket, which is quite heavy and his attention is focused on the well above the hill. Jill on the other hand is looking around the hill at the beautiful flowers and butterflies as they walk up.

Ten years later, we ask both Jack and Jill about this experience, I'm sure Jack wouldn't really be aware that there were beautiful flowers along the way. And Jill doesn't really remember the bucket being that heavy.

So it is good harping on about our experiences, but then the audience would need to be receptive. As one of my staff put it the other day, “We have ONE mouth and TWO ears."

So, maybe we need to listen more than we talk?